If you’re in the middle of planning your wedding, you’ve probably come across the idea of a first look, a private moment between the couple before the ceremony begins. It’s grown in popularity over the years, and for good reason. But like any part of your day, it should feel right for you.
In this post, we’re sharing everything you need to know about doing a first look, from where the tradition came from, to the pros and cons, how it impacts your timeline, and what to consider if you want a quiet moment together without seeing each other before the aisle.
We’re Maggie and Amber, the best friend duo behind Kindred Light Studios. Over the years, we’ve helped so many couples figure out what works best for their day, including whether or not to do a first look. Our goal is to help you plan with intention, feel confident in your choices, and have a wedding day that’s full of meaning. If that sounds like what you’re looking for, we’d love to connect.
What Is a First Look, and Where Did It Come From?
A first look is when a couple chooses to see each other before the ceremony, often in a private and quiet space. It’s usually just the two of you (plus your photographers at a distance). It allows for a few calm minutes before the day really takes off.
The idea of a first look became more popular as couples started leaning into personal, non-traditional timelines. Instead of waiting until they walk down the aisle to see each other, some couples love the idea of sharing that big moment in private, without a crowd watching.
Still in the early stages of planning? Don’t miss our blog “Just Got Engaged? Here’s What to Do First.“ It’s full of helpful tips to get you started with confidence and clarity.
Pros of Doing a First Look
There are many reasons couples choose to do a first look, and we’ve seen some truly sweet ones.
- You get time alone together. Wedding days are busy. A first look gives you space to connect before all the guests arrive.
- It calms the nerves. If you’re feeling nervous, seeing each other early can help you relax.
- You get more photos. You’ll have time to take a couple of portraits, wedding party photos, and sometimes even family photos before the ceremony.
- Your timeline flows better. When most photos are done early, you can head straight to the reception after the ceremony instead of making guests wait.
We always tell our couples that one of the biggest timeline perks is how much smoother the day feels. With a first look, there’s less rushing around. You also get to spend more of your day together, rather than waiting until the ceremony.
Cons of Doing a First Look
Of course, there are a few reasons you might not want to do a first look, and that’s totally okay.
- It breaks tradition. If you’ve always dreamed of that “walking down the aisle” moment being the very first time you see each other, a first look may not be the best fit.
- Hair and makeup may need to start earlier in the day. Since a first look typically happens before the ceremony, your beauty team might need to begin services earlier than usual to keep everything on schedule.
- It can feel staged with the wrong photographer. If not planned thoughtfully, a first look can come off as a bit forced. But when done right (with someone who knows how to make it feel natural and comfortable, like we do!), it becomes one of the most genuine, emotion-filled parts of the day.
We also want to mention: if you’re not doing a first look, your ceremony should start earlier in the day. This gives us enough time for photos afterward while still keeping your guests comfortable (no one wants to wait hours before dinner starts!).
Wonder what happens behind the scenes on your wedding day? Read “The Moments You Won’t See on Your Wedding Day” to find out what your photographer is quietly capturing.
How Seeing Each Other Early Changes the Timeline
Your timeline will look quite different depending on whether or not you decide to do a first look.
If you choose to have one, we’ll usually schedule it about two to three hours before the ceremony. After that moment, we’ll move right into your couple portraits. Then, if time allows, we’ll photograph your wedding party and family as well. This means that once the ceremony is over, you can head straight to cocktail hour or your reception without needing to pause for more photos.
If you decide not to do a first look, the timeline works in reverse. All portraits, including couples, families, and wedding parties, must be taken after the ceremony. In that case, your ceremony should start earlier in the day, especially during the fall and winter months when the sun sets sooner. Both options can work beautifully, but your choice will shape how the rest of the day flows.
Our Favorite Reactions (and Why They Matter)
We’ve seen a lot of first looks over the years, and each one feels different. Some couples cry, others burst into laughter, and a few simply smile the biggest smile we’ve ever seen. But here’s what we’ve noticed: they all help the couple feel more connected.
Your wedding day moves fast. Taking a quiet moment to pause, see each other, and just breathe? That can change how your whole day feels. We’ve had couples tell us their first look was the best part of the day.
Some of our favorite reactions?
- A groom who gasped and said “Wow” like he forgot anyone else existed.
- A bride who twirled in her dress and both of them burst out laughing.
- A couple who hugged for what felt like forever, just whispering to each other.
It’s not just about the photos (even though those are amazing, too). It’s about the moment you get to be fully yourselves, just the two of you, before everything else begins.
Planning your day? Don’t miss “The 7 Most Common Wedding Regrets (and How to Avoid Them)” for tips to help you plan with confidence and no regrets.
Alternatives to a First Look (If You Still Want a Private Moment)
Not sure you want to see each other before the ceremony, but still hoping for a meaningful moment? You have other options that can feel just as special.
One idea is a first touch. You can stand back-to-back or on either side of a doorway, hold hands, and even read letters to each other without actually seeing one another. Another option is to exchange letters earlier in the day and read them in private. It’s a sweet way to share your thoughts and calm any nerves.
Some couples also choose to pray or spend a few quiet moments together while keeping their eyes closed or staying out of view. Each of these simple pauses creates space to connect before the ceremony while still honoring the tradition of waiting to see each other at the altar.
Love the idea of a winter wedding? Take a peek at “A Cozy Christmas Wedding at The Cincinnati Club” for all the festive details, classic style, and heartfelt moments from one of our favorite December days.
So, Should You Do a First Look? Here’s Our Take
There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to a first look. It all depends on what matters most to you. If you’re hoping for a quiet moment together before the ceremony, a smoother timeline, and more time for photos, a first look might be the way to go. If seeing each other for the first time at the altar feels more meaningful, that’s just as special. Just remember, if you skip the first look, your ceremony will need to start earlier to leave time for photos before the sun sets.
At the end of the day, this is your story, and it should feel like you. No matter what you choose, we’ll be there to document it all with care, from the emotional moments to the joyful celebrations.
Still not sure what’s best? We’d love to help you walk through your timeline and find what fits. Take a look at our galleries to see how we tell each couple’s story with intention, or come say hi on Instagram. We’d love to hear what you’re dreaming up.
